There Is Nothing To Not Be Amazed At
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Friday, June 28, 2002
 
Darlin' Don't You Go and Cut Your Hair:
I got a haircut today and as always it was a weird experience. I’d rather go to the dentist than a hairdresser, because at the dentist you get your own room and you just lie back and let them go to work. But at the hairdresser there are all these people around you and you have to participate with instructions about how you want your hair, the length, style, colour, which kind of hair wax, and so on and so forth. There are the obligatory questions about this haircut compared to the last one you got (should it be longer or shorter than last time?), but if you’re anything like me you have no clue what your hair looked like two months ago, so you just say that whatever she thinks would be nice is fine with you and then hope she doesn’t get too fresh with the electrical shaver. And at the end she shows you the back of your head in a mirror and asks if you like it. What are you supposed to say to that? It’s not like you can ask for a do-over. So you just nod in acceptance and wonder if she really is able to remember how much she cut off the last time or if she just saying that it's shorter this time to mess with you.

The conversation during the actual cutting process is also a strange affair. Usually, I try not to say anything, because I feel weird making small-talk with someone I don’t really know, who’s basically getting paid to be there. But it depends on who is cutting my hair how uncomfortable I am and the girl who cuts it now is pretty nice, so I usually make a little small-talk with her. I’ve been going to this place for less than a year and the reason I changed salons (I wish there was a more masculine word, but I can’t think of one) was that they kept changing their staff at the last place I went to. I went through three different people there and the second one was a real piece of work (I really liked the first one, but finally gave up on the place, because I couldn't understand a word the third one was saying). She was nice enough, but she wasn’t exactly shy, so she’d just burst out with really personal information that you honestly don’t want to hear in a situation where you can’t get up and leave. It got really embarrassing the time she told me about this birth control device she’d gotten inserted into her arm (I’m not making this up), and since at this point she’d only cut the hair on one side of my head I had to stick around to hear her bang on about it for another twenty minutes. Maybe I’m repressed or something, but I can live without hearing about strange women’s choice of birth control.

Maybe the reason I think going to the hairdresser is a strange experience is because for a long time I didn’t cut my hair. From 1990 to 1998 scissors did not touch my hair, which meant that for a long time my hair went down to my waist and not surprisingly it didn’t look so great. But the theory was that if you wanted long hair you shouldn’t cut it (or as Alice in Chains said at the Metallica unplugged show: “Friends don’t let friends cut their hair”), so I didn’t cut it. But eventually the grunge look got boring (I got rid of the Doc Martens, the ripped jeans, and the flannel long before the hair), so I cut it and the funny thing was that the hairdresser was more hesitant about cutting it than I was ("Are you sure you want me to do this?" she kept saying). So it’s only in the last couple of years I’ve gone to a hairdresser on a regular basis, so maybe in a year or two I’ll enjoy it as much as going to the dentist.

- John Fogde 12:59 AM [+]



Thursday, June 27, 2002
 
Cause You're White, But You Got a Nose Like Bill Cosby:
I was a big fan of The Cosby Show growing up. I watched it all the time and my favourite episode was the one where the kids put on a show for their grandparents’ anniversary. The big finale is Olivia lip syncing her heart out to some gospel song sung by a woman, who sounds like she has just risen from the grave. And her performance is so great that they play it again during the credits (oh, another choice moment is the episode, where Bud duets with BB King on How Blue Can You Get. Bud (or Kenny as he was actually called) was one of my favourite guest characters). I also really liked A Different World, but that wasn’t so much because it was a spin-off as it was because I thought Dwayne Wayne was a riot and Cree Summer was kinda hot. I also read Bill Cosby’s book Fatherhood and I have Inside the Mind of Bill Cosby on vinyl, which I bought in a second hand shop years ago.

I also really like Eddie Murphy, so when I saw the movie Raw years ago I thought he did a funny impression of Cosby and I liked the way he made it sound like Bill’s real home was like it was on the show (I don’t handle the money. My wife, Camille, handles the money). If you haven’t seen Raw the bit centres on Cosby’s son Ennis, who wants to go see Eddie do stand-up and when he gets back Cosby asks his son what the show was like. After a while the kid finally tells his father, what Eddie said at the show, which leads to Cosby calling Eddie to complain about the filth-floin-filth that Eddie says on stage (to this day I don’t know what floin means or if it’s even the right word, but that’s what it sounds like). So Cosby chastises Eddie for cursing on stage, which leads to a very funny Richard Pryor impersonation with a lot of cursing and the show just continues with more and more funny stuff.

The point is that I didn’t actually think that Cosby ever called Eddie to complain about the show, but after reading a recent article where Cosby criticises the show The Osbournes I’m beginning to think that maybe he did. And that maybe he’s a bit of an annoying know-nothing know-it-all. I think that’s a real shame, because I always thought he seemed like a really nice guy.

- John Fogde 1:32 AM [+]



Wednesday, June 26, 2002
 
Say My Name, Say My Name:
It seems like everyone is playing the name search game on Google, and since my last entry didn’t provide a very interesting return I’ve decided to add a better sentence at the end of this entry just to see if it gets picked up by Google instead.

I was watching Time of Your Life (which is best known as a vehicle for Jennifer Love Hewitt’s heaving bosom) and Jessica Garner's character mentioned that Go Away Little Girl by Donny Osmond was her favourite song. But a little research showed that it's not the same song as the one I heard Steven Wishnoff sing last year at Don't Tell Mama's since the punch line of Osmond version isn't "I'm gay little girl, so go away little girl". But I couldn’t figure out, how wrote that version.

If you’ve never gone to work with a hangover I suggest that you keep it that way. I’ve done it a couple of times and it’s brutal. I went to the Skt. Hans party Sunday night (it translates into a Midsummer Night party) and I tried to moderate my intake of alcohol. But it turns out that even if you drink moderately, then drinking moderately for eight hours means you’ve still been drinking quite a bit. And then going to work after four or five hours of drunken sleep isn’t really that great an idea. So all day I looked like I’d been on a Downey Junior-style bender and the type of assignments I got didn’t exactly help (let’s just say you haven’t tried mindless work until you’ve applied white-out to 60 Xeroxed pages to cover black marks left by the holes that were punched in the original). So as soon as I got home I went straight to bed and pretty much sleeped the rest of the day.

Yesterday, I went shopping with my sister to get my Dad a birthday present. Later, we went out to my parents’ house for lunch and hung out there the rest of the day. I saw the Germany – South Korea game, which predictably ended 1-0 to the Germans. It was a pretty good game, but I think it’ll prove to be a big handicap for the German side to have to play the final without Michael Ballack. He’s been their best offensive player all through the tournament, so the fact that he’s banned from the final is a major blow to the team. We also saw the two final episodes of 24 and I have to say that I was a bit disappointed. I thought the final revelation was ridiculous and Bauer going crazy Rambo-style was a bit weird. However, I liked how they dealt with the wives of the two main characters and the Bauer/Drazen show-off at the end was understandable. I doubt the second series will be very interesting, but I’ll probably give it a chance.

I’ll be pretty busy the next two weeks. I’m going to a three day wedding this Friday, so before I leave I have to buy a present, get a haircut, find some clothes, and generally get organized. Monday I'll probably have to work and then get ready for the Midtfyns Festival, which I’ll be leaving for Tuesday morning. I won’t be back from that until the following Monday, but because I’ll be covering the festival for opasia.dk I’ll be online throughout the festival, which means I’ll be able to update the blog and link to some of the interviews I’ll be doing. I’m really looking forward to seeing bands like Rival Schools and Muse and I’d love to interview both bands. But so far I don't know what I'll be doing down there, but I'll let you know about it when I get more info.

I’m experimenting with a program called MailWasher today. It’s a program, which checks your mail server to see, which kind of mail you have waiting for you. So not only does it allow you to sort through spam and mails with attachments, without downloading them, it also allows you to bounce mails, so you hopefully won’t get any more spam from that account. I’m not sure how well it works, but it sounds like a good idea, so I’m giving it a shot.

And in reference to what I was saying earlier: John is a Fauxhemian

- John Fogde 4:01 PM [+]



Sunday, June 23, 2002
 
I’m a Ramblin’ Guy:
I haven’t really done anything the last couple of days. I’m still trying to organize my apartment and I’ve been watching a lot of TV, so today’s ramblings are just a bunch of different things I’ve thought about the last couple of days.

Like I said earlier my predictions for who will win the World Cup suck. Now Spain is out meaning that South Korea can meet Turkey in the final. Which they probably will if this tournament goes like it’s been going so far.

Wil Wheaton had a funny entry the other day about the Germany – USA game, where the Americans got to feel the Wrath of Kahn. I hadn’t even thought of that reference even though there’s an entire Seinfeld episode, where they discuss which is the better Trek movie.

I have a friend from Brooklyn, who’s a photographer. His name is Joey and he has a website called Joey’s World, which he has just updated. I met him in London in 1998 and managed to keep in touch until I could afford a trip to NYC in August/September last year. We hung out quite a bit and it was nice to know someone in the city especially which all the commotion surrounding 9/11. Anyway, besides being a good friend, he is a brilliant photographer, so check out his website.

I don’t really follow British music as closely as I did, when I could get Radio One on my radio. But it seems that the cool kids are into The Streets now. I heard them at a party recently and now they’re getting a lot of play on MTV2. The critics love them and if you're into hip hop performed by a white guy, who sounds like Tricky, then this is something you'll dig.

Speaking of music it seems that R. Kelly has decided to write a song about the child pornography case against him called Heaven, I Need a Hug. Oh My God! He should probably stop writing songs about this topic, since it was probably the inspiration for songs like Feelin' On Yo Booty, Like A Real Freak, and The Greatest Sex that got him in trouble in the first place.

I was watching Searching for Bobby Fischer last night, which is an awesome movie. The cast is pretty incredible, and I really like the story as well. Generally, I tend to really like movies about chess (although Knight Moves did sort of fall through the cracks), because it’s such a fascinating game. I know the rules, but I can’t play it properly, so watching movies or hearing about people, who have the ability to foresee how the game will unfold, is really fascinating. Another really good chess movie is Fresh, where Sam Jackson plays a part very similar to the one played by Laurence Fishburne in Searching.

A lot of blogs have those tests to determine which Breakfast Club character you are or which kind of shampoo you are, but I tend not to put stuff like that on my blog. I don’t usually write about which Google searches send people to my site (some of you people should be ashamed of yourselves!), but here’s one I couldn’t resist. I was reading an entry in Kieran’s blog, where he suggested typing your name into Google like this “John is” to see which kind of a person you are. He listed a lot of hits, but here’s the ten first using my name:

John is a British artist
JOHN IS DEAD.
John is one of New York's winningest handicappers?!
John is an Exacta Box Specialist?!
John is a small village nestled along the Northumberland Strait.
John is also available separately for use in your software or on your servers.
John is hitting the road!
John is Gone, Or To Be An Evil Genius, You Have To Actually Be A Genius".
John is the Webmaster of WebWord.com
John is married to actress Marnie Mosiman, who played 1/3 of Riva's chorus in Star Trek's "Loud as a Whisper" and has two sons, ages 13 and 14.


I don’t know why this is funny, but it is.

I’m going to a party tonight to celebrate that today is the longest day of the year. It’s an old pagan tradition, which includes having a bonfire and burning a witch (we usually use a fake witch these days, though), and it’s usually a pretty great night out. I’m going down to the college campus, where my sister lives, to have a barbeque with some friends and then there’s a party, which is always fun. It’s one of those things that everyone shows up for, so you usually get to meet people you haven’t seen in ages. Unfortunately, I have to work tomorrow, so I won’t be able to party on full speed tonight, but even so it should be a fun night.

- John Fogde 3:47 PM [+]



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